Phillipians 4:19
"And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus."
1 Timothy 6:10
"For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs."
Acts 20:35
"In everything I did, I showed you that by this kind of hard work we must help the weak, remembering the words the Lord Jesus himself said: 'It is more blessed to give than to receive.'"

Money has been on my mind so much lately and for so many different reasons. When something is stressing me out, I look up verses in the bible that relate to what the cause of the stress is. I try to find comfort in them and keep my dwindling hope. Someone told me today that all that is left after the hope is gone, is death. Fortunately my Hope is in God, and my future rests in His hands. Sometimes I doubt, I am human. In times like these it is hard to have hope. Money is low. I am moving in about 3 weeks. I need to make a certain amount of money by then to afford the moving costs and still have money for rent right away. There are so many other financial issues in my life and in the lives of my loved ones. The stress is building up by the boatload. I refer to the second verse, the love of money IS the root of all kinds of evil. Sometimes we lose track of what is most important, and our judgment gets clouded by the financial burdens. I believe that God will provide and my heart is at ease in that.

The Good Samaritan

Luke 10:25-37

On one occasion an expert in the law stood up to test Jesus. "Teacher," he asked, "what must I do to inherit eternal life?"

"What is written in the Law?" he replied. "How do you read it?"

He answered: " 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind'; and, 'Love your neighbor as yourself."

"You have answered correctly," Jesus replied. "Do this and you will live."

But he wanted to justify himself, so he asked Jesus, "And who is my neighbor?"

In reply Jesus said: "A man was going down from Jerusalem to Jericho, when he fell into the hands of robbers. They stripped him of his clothes, beat him and went away, leaving him half dead. A priest happened to be going down the same road, and when he saw the man, he passed by on the other side. So too, a Levite, when he came to the place and saw him, passed by on the other side. But a Samaritan, as he traveled, came where the man was; and when he saw him, he took pity on him. He went to him and bandaged his wounds, pouring on oil and wine. Then he put the man on his own donkey, took him to an inn and took care of him. The next day he took out two silver coins and gave them to the innkeeper. 'Look after him,' he said, 'and when I return, I will reimburse you for any extra expense you may have.

"Which of these three do you think was a neighbor to the man who fell into the hands of robbers?"

The expert in the law replied, "The one who had mercy on him."
Jesus told him, "Go and do likewise."

I came across this parable while I was reading this evening. I decided I wanted to dig a little to find a slightly deeper meaning to the story. This is what I came up with.

We have all been taught "love you neighbor as yourself" or "treat others as you want to be treated" as the "golden rule." This parable to me has just been an example of them. I did a little research to clear up some of the questions I had.

A Samaritan is a an inhabitant of Samaria. That is what dictionary.com says at least, which makes sense. That is not all that a Samaritan is though. The Samaritans practiced their own version of Judaism and lived side by side to the Jews of Israel. There were many similarities between the two, appearance, religion and language, but that didn't stop the xenophobic people of the land to treat these Samaritans as despised foreigners. For Jews like Jesus or John the Baptist though, a Samaritan just meant being a part of the group.

The first to pass by was a priest of the same faith. He just kept walking. Second was a Levite, which is one appointed to assist the priests in the temple or tabernacle, also of the same faith. When the Samaritan approaches he does not hesitate to bandage up the poor man and find a place for him to heal. He gave the innkeeper money and offered to give more at a later time if that wasn't sufficient. He went the extra mile to help this man.

The point of the story is that even a kind-hearted foreigner is more of a neighbor, deserving our love, then the cold-hearted religious functionary of their own faith. I believe that Jesus was not only teaching us to be kind, but also not to be prejudice about who we are kind to. We need to help our enemies as we would our brother. There is more of a meaning to this story then help those in need. Go the extra mile, do the extra deed, for ANYONE who is in need.

There are so many out there who are in desperate need of our help and there are so many different ways we can contribute to them. Especially in this cold holiday season, we need to give back to the community, help the poor, and do what we can to help each other. Money, among many other things, can make one greedy, but its not about money, we can donate our time or our possessions and food. I urge us all to look around for any way that we can help.

*Some more scripture!*

Mark 12:28-31 One of the teachers of the law came and heard them debating. Noticing that Jesus had given them a good answer, he asked him, "Of all the commandments, which is the most important?"

"The most important one," answered Jesus, "is this: 'Hear, O Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.' The second is this: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' There is no commandment greater than these."

Matthew 5:43-48 43 "You have heard that it was said, 'Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your brothers, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.

John 13:34-35 "A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another."

Emotional Wreck

Today was great! Spent it playing with my girls and relaxing. Other than being sleep deprived, today was the first half way normal day that I have had for a while, until this evening, when I had an emotional breakdown. That seems to be happening a lot more lately, stress is coming by the boatload now. The one thing I hate myself for is that I take a lot of that stress out on the only one who seems to understand or care about what I am going through. For that, I am sorry. Little things that a year ago would not have bothered me the least bit are setting me over the edge. A girl can only handle so much. I just need to stay focused on the good things that are happening, and enjoy the last few weeks with my family. I need to get past and overlook some of the things that are being said. I need to be strong. I need to grow up and learn to cope on my own and deal with life. Mine is not so bad. God has blessed me with a loving family, sure we have our issues, who doesn't? I need to get out of this negative mentality. Things could be so much worse.

My Prayer:
Lord give me strength, I am having a hard time keeping it together.
Bless me with the maturity to deal with the things that need to be dealt with, and the knowledge of when to let things go.
God help be to be patient with those, as you are patient with me everyday. Guide me to walk in the path you have laid out for me and grant me the courage to obey.
Your love comforts me. You are my hope. You are my strength and my shield.
Lord I pray for peace of mind and the ability to relax and get a good night's sleep.
In your heavenly Name,
Amen.

The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life; of whom shall I be afraid? Though an army encamp against me, my heart shall not fear; though war rise up against me, yet I will be confident. (Psalm 27: 1, 3)

Just a Rant

I procrastinate. I always wait til the absolute last minute to complete things, even when I have all the time in the world to get them done. Specifically, getting my CE (continuing education) so that I can renew my license. Because I waited til the last minute, I have to complete this online course. It is ridiculous. I think that I might actually be happy that my computer's sound is not working correctly. If I had to listen to something while waiting for the little green arrow to pop up, I may not be alive anymore. There should be an option on these courses to just take the final test, or put everything up at once so that I have the option to read it at my own pace. In actuality, the course is not the problem, its the guidelines to completing the course. I would have the entire thing finished by now if I could do it my own way. Instead, I will have accumulatively spent about 24 hours completing this course. I am only required to have 8 hours of CE. Its stupid. I guess that is what I get for waiting until the last minute. On top of it all, I will have to take some incredibly difficult test to transfer my license to FL in just over a month. Nice.

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18
"Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus."

blog virgin

Ok. So I am very new to this whole blog thing. This is what happens when you can't sleep at 3:30am. So many things go through you mind. Stuck in my current situation for at least 4 more weeks, I am going to need something to kill time with.

Sometimes I wonder if you can ever truly know if the path you take is the right or wrong, without hearing God's voice yourself. I am making some big decisions over the next month and I just want to be 100% sure they are the correct ones. The only reason I doubt is because I am human. Everything finally makes sense in my life. I know, hard to believe right?
But does it? I think that we as humans can manipulate our own minds to believe anything that we want. Rationalizing anything so that we don't feel guilty, or to run away from our problems. Neither of which relate to my situation.

I got the guy. You know the one you think you will never come across, and if you do he is already taken? Yeah, I found him. Of course it comes with some sort of problem, it just happens to be 1000 miles. We have gotten to the place in our long distance relationship that something has to give so I am moving. I am moving 1000 miles away from everything I have ever known. The fact that I don't have any second thoughts about it assures me that I am making the right decision. It will be a tough transition for me, but I am excited to take on the challenge.

The things that are on my mind are not about the move in general. They are about what I want to happen before I move. Friendships I want to mend or confront, issues I have that I want to vanquish, and saying the goodbyes that are going to hurt so much.

Some things you never let go. I am usually the one who easily forgives and forgets. I am understanding and very loyal to my friends. I have recently realized that it can sometimes be too much to expect from people in return. It seems the friends I have chosen in the past are not capable of or just do not care enough to be a good friend to me. Am I so naive to believe that this category does not exist? Sometimes I think to myself, "how can you be so stupid?" I tend to overlook the faults in ones personality. I give multiple chances even when it is not deserved. In the end, I am the one that gets hurt. Maybe I just need to toughen up a little or just pick better friends. At some point you need to learn from past experiences and just not make the same mistakes. I'm just not quite sure that I am capable of that yet. It seems as if almost all of my friends have disappointed me in one way or the other. Whether it be money issues or unnecessary lying, I have had the worst of the worst. It is really difficult for me to confront someone, for any reason that is. I believe that some things just need to be left alone. I am not sure how to decide between the two. When is enough enough?

I am still growing as a person day in and day out. As is everyone. Over the last year I have undergone a lot of changes, mostly for the good. I am realizing more and more everyday the gifts that God has blessed me with and the things that need work. A lot of these things are not going to happen overnight though I am blessed with many people to help me along my walk with God. Some of which I will be saying goodbye to in a few weeks and many new ones to come after the move. Every night I pray that God will help me become the person I am supposed to, because without Him, it will never happen.

Oh wow. I am so scatterbrained. At least I got a few things off my chest. If it wasn't 4am I would revise it a bit and make it a little easier to understand. Unfortunately for those who read this, its 4am. Good night.



"Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:4-7